Author J Roe

Writing quirky characters on redemptive journeys

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What Is Even Happening? (and all the silly updates)

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Umm . . . What Is Even Happening?

My three musketeers and I trade videos back and forth to keep updated on each other’s lives since we live so far apart. In doing so, these impromptu videos are full of all sorts of unscripted ridiculous moments. One bestie is constantly saying “What is even happening?” and she tries to describe in words what defies description. She often gives up and turns the camera around so that we can witness the insanity of the moment. We’re talking crazy cats, rogue turkeys, and snarky teens.

Well, I’m turning around the camera so that you, my loyal readers and true friends, can witness the insanity. For the truth is, I really don’t know what all is happening, but it is proving to be quite the ride. Buckle up!

Health, Wellness, and Moving Forward

In March of 2022 my mental and physical health was at an all time low. Migraines were debilitating to the point that again I could no longer leave my home. My weight had skyrocketed as I sought comfort in food, but food without real nutrition. Depression and anxiety were rampant and while trying a new medication, I almost committed suicide.

Had I lost my faith? No, but I was certainly struggling. Besties, family, and church members were praying. One tenacious friend reached out and made it possible for me to try a nutrition program that drastically changed my life for the better. I returned to life and became able to write again. Rapunzel’s Journey was even finished on time thanks to my amazing other bestie and editor-extraordinaire. Surprisingly, I even started helping and inspiring friends to reclaim their health, and this became an important avenue for my overall health.

While I’d love to report that I am no longer battling migraines or mental health issues, I am struggling again. Fortunately, I am surrounded by great support. I am doing what I can to weather this particular storm. I’ve had these kinds of battles in the past and eventually they do pass.

Despite the mental and financial struggle* for myself and my family, I have found inspiration. A whole new set of characters have shown up, but not the ones I thought I’d be writing. Let me tell you about the surprise that is breathing new life, and lots of chuckles, into my writing.

*for those interested in offering support, click here.

Wacky Jackie Q.

Once upon a time (yes, it has to start this way), a little girl named Jackie loved to laugh and play. She had a melancholy side, but was mostly a sanguine, talkative (some might say “yacky”) child. When she grew up, she left behind her nickname of Jackie and adopted the more mature sounding “JacQueline”, but the Q kept her fun and quirky.

So, you guessed it. My name is JacQueline and as JacQueline, I’ve loved writing the more melancholy Rapunzel with several quirky characters to keep things jolly. Even during more dramatic, and often romantic, moments. And perhaps that is the common thread here. There may or may not be magic in everything I write (whether as JacQueline or Jackie Q. or whatever pen name I may go to next) but there will always be some romance. Because who can live without love? (and isn’t love true magic?)

Crazy Fun in Texas

But, let’s be real, right alongside that romance is that quirky, ridiculous tendency I have. Like maybe I’ve tried to kiss my husband in an ultra-suave move, but accidentally (HOW???) tripped and practically fallen on my face. Trust me, things like this happen when I’m around. (Prayers for my husband’s safety appreciated.)

So, when I realized I couldn’t write the next fairytale retelling series, I was pretty bummed. Then, some super silly friends (all my characters are friends) came along to cheer me up. Because what could be better than being (by the magic of imagination) transported to a German-Mexican town in Texas? Yes, all kinds of silly started happening to create The Love and Laughter series. You should see the menu for Bachmann-Hernandez Restaurant. (Was I inspired by New Braunsfels, TX? Just maybe *wink*wink*). This all and not to mention the goofy little businesses around the town square–like the florist/funeral home. My brain is a silly space.

* Get your free teeny-tiny prequel/sneak peek into the goofy town of Levercusin (mispronounced Leave Ya’ Cousin) here.

Who is Running the Asylum?

Do I really know what is going on? Well, as of writing this, I’m over half-way through drafting The Design and Destiny of Love (UPDATE: it’s now finished and available!). I’ve also gotten a good start on what I hope will be a FREE prequel and some on book 2. With my health and finances as they are currently, I can’t make any guarantees about when these books will be coming your way. But I’m hopeful (take that, depression!) that The Design and Destiny will be published fall of 2024 with the sequel (UPDATE: available for pre-order now) soon to follow. But, who knows?

What I DO know:

  • God is good and my books will have a redemptive, if silly, arc
  • Quirky will win the day
  • Pain loses in the end

Finally, are you one of those amazing generous individuals who likes to support the arts and/or those struggling with their health? Please check out my Patreon and consider becoming a patron, if that aligns with your values. Thank you as always for your prayers, friendship, and support!

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Gratitude and Gardening During Lockdown

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Do you believe that gratitude and gardening during lockdown might lead us to enjoy life? Perhaps not a few months ago. But things have changed drastically since COVID 19 took over our lives. There are two ways to approach things, and I think gratitude, with a bit of gardening, can open our eyes.

Gratitude and Gardening

The irises and honey suckle are blooming behind my house, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. Wind rustles through the leaves, sounding like the waves coming up to shore. Everyday I see people enjoying the changing of the season–taking walks, smiling, and waving. Gardens are planted and weeded. DIY projects are at an all-time high with triple the normal sales at hardware and home improvement stores.

But I know that people are panicking, I’ve struggled with it despite the beauty of the season. There are many people out of work due to COVID 19, small business owners everywhere struggling to pivot in order to make sales online instead of in-person. Exhausted family members continue the tasks of being the only one out of the house. High-risk individuals self-quarantining feel cut-off.

It’s hard to see beauty and recognize what we have to be grateful for when we focus on what’s going wrong.

Gratitude During Hardships

If we don’t count our blessings–the flowers blooming, families walking outside together, etc.–our vision will narrow to the hardships. We foresee a dark world getting darker still. Instead of accessing the thankful heart we could grow and develop in our homes, we become the worst version of ouselves. I personally struggle with this. My tone becomes defensive, bitter, and I bite off the heads of people I profess to love. Family members have jerked away from me recently and I finally realized: I’ve allowed my fears to emerge, to take over.

It’s time for many of us to make space so we can take a step back. Refocus our eyes and ears, listen to God stir the wind through the trees. Breathe in deeply the fragrance of the flowers He’s awoken.

Mommie’s Legacy: My Upbringing to the Rescue

My mommie taught me this. When I first became ill with chronic migraines in high school, my vision narrowed then as well. My pain became everything to me. It determined when and what I ate. It determined where I went and what I wore. It even determined who I saw and what I was able to accomplish. Sound familiar? I had been a gregarious and silly teenager who loved to think deep thoughts and laugh loudly with friends. But I quickly morphed into a moody, light-sensitive, sound-sensitive agoraphobic, who clung to my home as though its dark rooms could shelter me from the pain.

My mommie handed me a book that helped me begin listing everything I was grateful for, everything that lifted my eyes beyond my pain to what was good, and right, and true. (see Philippians 4:8) My fingers stumbled at first, scratching out words slowly. Then, the words came in a rush, flowing through me. I covered at least three pages and could have kept going. The girl that loved the life she’d been given was still alive inside me. Just because I was in pain didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy my life.

Gratitude and Gardening During Lockdown

This pandemic lockdown has shut so many of us in, and I’ve found myself panicking as the feeling is all too familiar. But after talking to my counselor, I’m back to counting my blessings, focusing my mind on what is right and true. I have a home, a family, even flowers. My body can take walks. Last spring, I couldn’t do that. Pain and grief had overwhelmed me. I’m going to celebrate what I can do, not be upset that I can’t go to my favorite coffee shop. Maybe you and I can both choose joy and gratitude together despite the pain and fear.

Gratitude and gardening during lockdown may sound too simplistic, I know. There is real pain, real fear. I also know the key isn’t actually working in the dirt. You may hate gardening, and that’s fine. The key here is where is your focus? Have you concentrated on what you are blessed with? Or are you stressing about what you don’t have and all the horrible things that may happen?

Yes, little is certain, but we have been given this moment. We each have something, and it can be something small, to be grateful for. And with whatever is beautiful, we can share with others. Don’t make it complicated. It can be through a phone call, a gift placed on a doorstep, a six-foot-distanced visit outdoors. Our lives are a precious gift and even in the midst of hardship, we need to refocus, give thanks. I know this is changing me. What can you be grateful for?

During a crisis, our vision can narrow to what is wrong. But through practicing gratitude and gardening during lockdown, my new focus has helped me fight depression and chronic illness. Whether you are deciding if you should check out gardening for beginners or looking for self-discovery journal prompts, practicing gratitude in your daily life will change you. #gratitude #chronicillness #gardening #mentalhealth

About JacQueline

JacQueline Vaughn Roe

Author of  The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, and  Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, which chronicles her battle with chronic pain and depression, JacQueline uses her writing to share stories of hope and joy. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline to keep her writing healthy at no additional cost to you. 

JacQueline currently lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All of her writing is from her own experience and based on her opinion. Please don’t substitute it for a professional therapist.

photography: Alex Basov, Annie Spratt, Meg Landrito, and Jessica “Kess” Vaughn.

Graphic Design for Social Media: JacQueline Vaughn Roe. Contact her for help with graphic design or other author services.

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Celebrating the End of a Hard Year

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This is not the end

How can we say we are celebrating the year if it was hard? If you’ve been struggling with illness, grief, job loss, or relationship issues, maybe you don’t know how. One look at my KanBan board reveals rows and rows of sticky note goals that haven’t been achieved and moved into the “CELEBRATE!” column.

When we are dealing with obstacles thrown into our path during life’s journey, discouragement tells us we are failures. But, what if we look beyond the planned success on our vision boards? I think there are things each of us have learned, perhaps the hard way, that are worth recognizing. Why not end the year celebrating those victories so that we can begin looking for such treasures in the New Year?

As you can see, I haven’t been able to “clear” my “to-do’s” on my KanBan Board.

Celebrating the Year: Recognize when coping becomes healing

I remember when I was younger a well-meaning teacher told me that coping was unhealthy. It was the path of developing strategies to avoid what needed to be dealt with. Being young and impressionable, I took her word for it and began to despise the word. I scrutinized and judged everyone around me who used coping mechanisms to survive.

But I’ve been trying to recover and heal from several things this year. For months, I was avoiding pain, both physical and emotional. Most of us have done this at one point in our lives, and there’s a cost. For me, migraines became debilitating and led to a dark depression riddled with suicidal thoughts.

My counselor has reminded me that we have to live our lives, not escape them. We must journey through the low points to reach the other side of healing. I’ve had to learn to process pain differently and try several different ways of relieving it because my body doesn’t respond well to many medicinal or natural remedies. Developing coping mechanisms to process has helped me work through my issues.

Prayer walking and #walkthankful

Below I use links to a fitness resource I have found essential for my chronic illness issues. Here is the link to their free open house during which you can try out all their courses and workouts free for the month of December. If you use any of these links, please know I will receive a small affiliate payment that will cost you nothing extra ONLY if you decide to invest at the end of the open house.

Recognizing I have to deal with the pain in my life, including the aching loss of my sister, I have begun moving my body again. Last November, right before my sister’s death, I joined the #walkthankful challenge by Fit2B. In it, you take a walk every day for the month and contemplate what you are thankful for. My life had become about migraines and my sister’s brain-injury, so I wanted to participate even if we couldn’t do it every day. I loved those short walks with her and I miss them.

Taking walks after her death felt impossible, but I knew I needed the warmth of movement to heal. So I began prayer-walking, pouring out my anger and anxiety to the God I was having a hard time trusting. As I walked through the pouring rain last spring, I cried. During the blazing hot months of summer, I shielded my eyes with sunglasses and decided to keep walking, keep praying, keep sweating. My mind would drift and it became less and less about my pain and more about the beauty the Creator had surrounded me with. By the time November came, I was ready and needing to walk in gratitude, even though it hurt to live through the horrible anniversary of her death.

Bonding with children and friends

What shouldn’t have surprised any of us is how God layers our days with support if we open our eyes. I had started counseling again, uprooting some bad habits and developing some healthier ones. My children often go on walks with me. My youngest loves chattering away happily as we discover secret pathways through our suburban neighborhood. Friends through FaceBook pray for me and my family, reaching out as we continue along. Fellow readers and writers on Instagram and Twitter have sent messages of support. I’ve even had readers of my books check in on me, people who feel like they know me simply because I have shared stories with them.

This linked-up community of chronic illness warriors has been a lifeline to so many, but I think it can go far beyond that. I believe people long for connection, but sometimes we have to take steps to make it happen. A year ago, when my sister Joy died, neighbors reached out to me. On her birthday, I made cookies in her memory, and went door to door delivering them. I did it because I wanted to do something good. Why not take the little bit of energy we have and do nice things for others? It took the focus off of me and my pain and placed it on others. I know we can’t do it all the time, but this was worth it. Though surprised, my neighbors and I had nice chats. My plan is to do this every year on Joy’s birthday.

Celebrating the Year: what to do with unmet goals

Over the past year, I thought I would have written two more books than I have. Instead, I’ve been processing, journaling, learning what I need to in order to survive this season. When I write my next memoir/Biblestudy, I pray it will have the depth and resolution it needs to help others. I can celebrate publishing Before the Tower and Amidst the Castles, but . . . It’s hard to let go those that didn’t happen. Each of my writing projects took longer and more out of me than I anticipated. I bet you understand. Those obstacles really take it out of us, don’t they?

I don’t yet have a great grasp on how long it takes me to accomplish things, but I do know I won’t quit until I have completed each project. The last novel for this year, Within the Spell, is finally through edits. It came out today, just in time for Christmas. *Deep Breath* It’s been a hard journey, but I’ve made progress and it’s worth celebrating this year. We learn, right? Let’s look at the next year and keep striving, but not pushing too hard or too fast.

Please share with us, what unexpected lesson learned can we celebrate with you? What path did you travel that you might not have wanted to, but you’re stronger for having traversed?

JacQueline Vaughn Roe

About JacQueline

As the author of  The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, JacQueline also wrote Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, to share hope in the battle against chronic pain and depression. Currently she lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All opinions expressed on this website come from her own experience. Do not substitute it for professional therapy or medical advice. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline’s family at no additional cost to you.

If you are a reader wanting to connect with JacQueline, you can get a free book here. Each month you will receive book recommendations and other booknerd fun.

Are you a writer or an author looking for help? JacQueline has been writing all her life and loves meeting others who think writing is living. As an author coach, helping other writers on their journey gives her joy. Schedule your free coaching call to learn what steps you should take next now.

Graphic Design for Social Media: JacQueline Vaughn Roe. Contact her for help with graphic design or other author services.

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Books about Books for Bookworms

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For this month’s bookish blog, I feel the need to give a shout-out to all the other booknerds out there that love books about books. Bookworms, unite! (And by that, I mean, go grab your book and find a cozy spot by yourself with something warm to drink as you inhale the fragrance of book pages or your favorite bookish candle…whatever that is…)

What are the best ya books to read about books? I’m discussing the type of book where a reader, usually a child, finds their way into the book itself or maybe a character of the book finds their way into real life. This concept is not unique, there are dozens of books out there with this premise. There are even movies that have this premise (I’m looking at you, Never Ending Story—book I should really get around to reading!) What I discovered surprised me. Instead of the premise being overused, there are many unique ways to tell this story. The plot advances and characters develop while real readers, like myself, wish this could really happen.

C’mon, if you call yourself a bookworm . . . Don’t you occasionally, perhaps frequently, want to cross from real life into the pages of a favorite book? Who doesn’t want to bring a favorite character we think of as a friend into our homes?

I think that young adult literature does this particularly well because as adolescents, most of us become a little cynical. But there is a hope for something pure and beautiful beneath that cynicism! I believe that’s why I love the young adult genre and write in it. I’m speaking to that snarky me that is stuck in high school still wishing for the fairy tale. If that’s you, then I bet you will love the following books.

Books to Read About Books: The Great Good Thing

A precious college friend of mine sent me a package in the mail after the death of my sister. She knew I was hurting, and her card and sweet gifts showed a tenderness that I was able to receive like a hug across the miles that separated us. (Especially since the package included a good book!)

I’d never heard of The Great Good Thing, but was immediately intrigued by the adventures of Sylvie. The little princess spent her time trying to find a way to climb out of its pages and then restoring order to her story when things got shuffled the wrong way. Though the parents come across as foolish, I enjoyed the story and how Sylvie transforms to become the heroine of her own story.

Books to Read About Books: Between the Lines

This book was great fun and had me confused as to what I, the reader, actually wanted to happen. Did I want the character who was so unhappy with his “boring” story to be set free from the confines of the page? Did I perhaps want him to pursue a real relationship with the reader? I’m not kidding when I say that I wasn’t sure what I wanted until I read the end. Still debating whether to pick up the sequel because I’m a little nervous about getting conflicted again. I know, I take this too seriously!

But I think that’s a sign of an intriguing story, one that doesn’t have clear-cut answers to difficult questions. There are times in life where we need to reconcile ourselves to the lives we live and find contentment there. There are other times (and, God, help us know the difference!) when we must fight our way out of the mundane to faithfully do what is right and uncomfortable.

This book was a collaborative work of a well-known author, Jodi Picoult, and her daughter’s debut, Samantha Van Leer. The mother-daughter relationship in the story is very interesting as a result. I wish I could have read this book with my own mother before she died. I think the discussions of real-life versus fairytale love have a great deal of merit and I’m glad I can talk about it with my girls. There is also a strong element in the mother figure with the son and I’m looking forward to discussing this with my boy. Father figures are sadly lacking in this tale.

Books to Read About Books: The Book Jumper

Of all the books, The Book Jumper is the most controversial. There is more profane language in it, if that concerns you. Of all the books I am recommending here, it is definitely intended for an older young adult audience. This story is more of a mystery than the other two and I love the plot twists that have you guessing till the end how things will turn out. I adore the way Mechthild Glaser has created this story world, where book jumpers come from two prestigious family lines whose job it is to keep plots progressing properly.

This is another book with a strong mother-daughter theme running throughout, whispering to readers, “Are you keeping secrets from each other? Secrets can lead to hurt.” Yes, expect it to lead to great discussions! There is another book in the series, but I haven’t picked it up yet.

What are you reading?

So, of all the books above, have you read any? I’d love to hear what you thought of them. If not, what books with this theme have you found intriguing? If you are a writer, like me, I’m curious to hear how such books impact your writing. I suppose it is many of our dreams for readers to long to climb within the pages of our books.

About JacQueline

As the author of  The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, JacQueline also wrote Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, to share hope in the battle against chronic pain and depression. Currently she lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All opinions expressed on this website come from her own experience. Do not substitute it for professional therapy or medical advice. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline’s family at no additional cost to you.

If you are a reader wanting to connect with JacQueline, you can get a free book here. Each month you will receive book recommendations and other booknerd fun.

Are you a writer or an author looking for help? JacQueline has been writing all her life and loves meeting others who think writing is living. As an author coach, helping other writers on their journey gives her joy. Schedule your free coaching call to learn what steps you should take next now.

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Welcome to the journey

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All of us are on a journey, but we’re not always sure where we are going. Are you wondering if you are alone in feeling lost or uncertain? If so, welcome my friend. You are not alone. I began writing to connect with others. I wanted a safe place to tell my stories of sorrow, hope, and the search for joy. Here we can encourage each other on the way. Whether you enjoy fairytales with a twist or inspirational fiction, I have something for you. Take some time to look around and let me know how I can serve you. I look forward to getting to know you better.

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