Many of us feel desperate, searching for a shut-in’s guide to staying home. Maybe it would help us find the right path through the maze of COVID 19. Ironically, I feel as though the majority of my life has prepared me for this. I’ve lived home-bound off-and-on since high school due to complications involving debilitating chronic migraines and resulting depression and anxiety. I have found ways that help me continue to live a worthwhile life even when I can’t function as I would normally like to. Who knew there would be chronic illness tips to help us when we’re shut in?
Celebrating and Grieving
I live in the USA in Alabama, one of the last states to receive the coronavirus test. We were therefore one of the last states to begin locking down. My children would not be going to school as planned while I was away with my sisters. We were at the beach, spreading the ashes of the sister we lost in a horrific accident. We were also celebrating the life of our youngest sister, who this past year survived breast cancer. Even with the signs of how quickly things were beginning to shut-down, we tried to keep our focus on healing and each other. We knew we might never get such an opportunity to be together like this again.
I’ve never in my life had such a view before. The wind and the waves played together on the shore making me smile. Though I thought I was familiar with sea-loving birds, I saw more than the pelicans and seagulls I remembered from my Galveston Island childhood. My writer’s mind is always eating up bits of information like this. I breathed in the scent of the salt air, the warmth of the sun, the thundering crash of the waves. The sight of my sisters playing in the surf will not be forgotten! I walked on the sand, letting my feet memorize the feel of the wet sand and lapping waves. Each of these details are making their way into different scenes in my fairy tale novels.
Taking things one-at-a-time
Each morning I prayed on the open balcony facing the gulf. I prayed for God to provide, even as I adjusted to the news that my husband was temporarily laid-off due to the crisis. I asked God to care for my sisters and I as we grieved. Though there are times I don’t understand what God is doing, He has always proved to be faithful. I choose to hold onto that knowledge, at peace that he has promised to never leave or forsake me. Those prayers by the beach were solace for me.
Chronic Illness Tips to Help Us
Returning home I began to realize what we needed to do in my family. Ocean breezes gone, I returned to the life I’m all too familiar with. I was thankful the migraines let up for me to enjoy my time on the shore. But even there chronic illness had covered my body in hives, a lingering allergic reaction to a migraine medication. Side note: Social distancing isn’t difficult when you look like you have chickenpox. So now I’m home trying to recover and help my family navigate staying home.
Something that may seem like common sense is all too easily forgotten in the pursuit of getting through each day while living on top of each other. Grace. We need it in abundance. When you live with a body that doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, you need help from others. But you also need to be gracious in how you ask and receive that help. Having a chronic illness can make you an impatient, bitter person, robbed of all you wanted out of life. Becoming home-bound can have a similar affect. Or, you can choose to be grateful for each moment you have. You can thank God for things you used to take for granted–like toilet paper.
Practice grace and be flexible
I need to practice this grace with my family. They are not used to staying home all the time. I’ve set up a routine that allows me to run my author business with the family at work or school. But now we are together–All. The. Time. My children are missing their friends, my husband is missing his occupation. They miss their sense of productivity and accomplishment at the end of each day. I need to help encourage them to find a new way to accomplish things. We have to use what we have available in our home.
Confessions? I need to fight my impatience to want to get back to writing my novel in silence. You know, without the sounds of chattering kids, the constant interruptions, and need for my input. Next week we’ll be adding distance learning on the computers for the kids till the end of the school year. That will take more adjusting for all of us. I don’t think I’m understating this if we are gracious and flexible, we can help love and cherish each other even now. And that’s the most important job we have.
Let go of what you can’t control
In order to establish a new normal to get through these times, I have to let go of what I can’t control and embrace what is good about now. That means setting soft writing and business goals that are easier to reach with the constant interruptions. It necessitates creating some fun family times. This won’t apply to all of you, but our family is full of avid readers. We are reading through a few series of books individually and now we will have time for lots of fun book discussions. Each family has some area where they shine and can enjoy interests together. Perhaps it’s fitting puzzles together, fitness, or baking treats.
I’d like to be running around getting groceries or handing out meals for those in the high-risk group, but I am in the high-risk group, so that’s out for me. Some things we can’t control, but we can choose to find good things about spending time in our homes, call or text people we are concerned about. There is much to be grateful for if we just look for it and there are ways to get through this difficult time if we work together with those we are living with.
So, how are you doing with all of this? Are there things you can do with your routine that will help you love the people you are living with? Are there people you can check-in on that would appreciate hearing from you?
About JacQueline
Author of The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, and Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, which chronicles her battle with chronic pain and depression, JacQueline uses her writing to share stories of hope and joy. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline to keep her writing healthy at no additional cost to you.
JacQueline currently lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All of her writing is from her own experience and based on her opinion. Do not substitute it for a professional therapist or health care worker.
JacQueline has been writing all her life and loves meeting others who think writing is living. As an author consultant, helping other writers on their journey gives her joy. Schedule your free author assessment to learn what steps you should take next now.
Photo credit: JacQueline Vaughn Roe and Kari Shea
Social Media Graphic Design: JacQueline Vaughn Roe
