Author J Roe

Writing quirky characters on redemptive journeys

mental health

Trigger Warnings, Mental Health, and Books OH MY!

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A great many of the readers and authors who connect with me tend to be highly sensitive. Probably because I am. And for those of you who are, you may feel like you’re walking on egg shells or wandering through a minefield whether you’re out of the house or clicking around your favorite online bookstore trying to find a safe place to unwind. If that’s you, I see you and in some ways we are very much kindred spirits. I have some resources that might make things a little easier and give you better tools to manage your mental health while finding your happy place.

While “triggers” sound like such a scary, unhealthy thing, we can use them to help us grow. By asking questions like “Why is this upsetting?” and “Do I need to work through something in relation to this reaction?” we can find ourselves in a healthier mindset. But if now is not the time to be working on things like that, then glance or click through what I have gathered here and you’ll be better prepared. I have also listed resources I’ve (or someone dear to me) found personally helpful at the end.

Please remember that I am NOT a licensed health professional and it is essential that you manage your own well-being. Please, please, please take care of you. You matter! Books are my safe place and I want my books to be that for you. If not, no worries! You can always come back later or find someone else to connect with. Take care!

Common Sense

I also appreciate the views of my diverse friends and readers who help me connect outside my own experiences. Many of you don’t look like me and I praise God we come from different places, different backgrounds, even different belief systems. It is a joy to learn more and reflect that in the stories I write. While I do extensive research into cultures and topics I was not born into or had first-hand contact with (because I want to tell the stories of a variety of people) I am imperfect. If I have in anyway misrepresented a culture or people group you love, please reach out anytime so the next book can be better and your voice can be heard. 

If you are also wanting to lend your views for future books, please reach out. Let me say it again, YOU MATTER! We need your perspective when you’re ready to share. Let’s see if there’s a good spot for you on the team. (because no book is written alone, it does take a team!)

Know Thyself–and Thine Own Mental Health Triggers

Every one of the following issues were not things that I set out to write about, but because I or people I love struggle with them. And so–surprise!–they come out in my stories. In said stories, things are not perfect by the ending, but there is some resolution by the end of each my books, and a happily-ever-after in any romance/romantic comedy I write.

Closed Door Heat level 2-3 as defined by The Writing Gals:

  • You can expect sweet to sizzling kisses in my books that include a romantic plot. There may be either a closed door or fade-to-black for married couples. No description beyond kissing.

Loss of parent and/or unresolved grief:

Childhood abuse (kidnapping, neglect, bullying, beatings, imprisonment)

  • Rapunzel’s Journey (each book has at least one character dealing with one of these, as do most well-known fairy tales. Nothing above “PG-13” violence described on page. See A Cheat Sheet for Fairy Tale Lovers for more insight into what fairy tales are covered.)
  • The Trials and Triumphs of Love — character has neglectful and narcissistic parents, she also as a family lawyer represents clients with difficult histories. Nothing on page.

Mental Health (depression, anxiety, PTSD, unresolved grief, substance abuse, suicidal ideation)

Chronic Illness

(Of course Chronic illness comes to the forefront since I have had my own since 1993.)

Faith elements

  • All of my books no matter what pen name I use 😉 Can’t seem to not write out my core faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and the inerrancy of scripture. Always happy to talk to you about the hope I have found in Him for my numerous issues in this broken world. You will also find Bible studies in the first three books in Rapunzel’s Journey.

Gaslighting (Deceitful Manipulation)

  • This is dangerous mental health concern that I have seen pushed to the side or over-dramatized. It is rampant in fairy tales, so you will find it in several place throughout Rapunzel’s Journey.
  • The Facts and Fictions of Love — A character is belittled for her effervescent personality by several older characters and believes the lie she is “too much.” This may seem extreme to call it “gaslighting,” but whether it was intentional or not, it impacted negatively what the character believed to be true about herself. I am sensitive to it and have found hope in the truth that Abuelita speaks over her: Psalm 139:14 and the beautiful quote by Frida Kahlo, “Escoge una persona que te mire como si quizás fueras magia or in English, “Choose a person who looks at you as if you were magic.”

Adultery/Cheating

  • High King has an (ongoing) affair that impacts the entire kingdom for most of Rapunzel’s Journey, but the affair is off the page. There are offspring that are at odds because of this in Upon the Throne.
  • The Design and Destiny of Love — There is a past affair that was not technically adultery or cheating, but it forever impacted the relationship. The affair, as indicated, is off the page.

Progress, Not Perfection

This is your permission, should you need it, to not be perfect as you figure out what you do or don’t need (even in books) at this time. Be you, because we need you. Not perfect you, just YOU you. If any of my books prompt any self-condemnation, just walk away. Guilt can help move us forward and inspire a little course correction as we take responsibility. It should never promote self-hatred or deep shame. One of my therapists helped me understand: guilt says I did something bad (and I can work on getting healthier as I make different choices from here on), but shame says I AM bad and have no hope.

Do something weird, be unconventional, find your own way. If it’s not morally wrong (and therefore not hurting anyone) discover what helps you function and thrive in each moment. And, hey, today’s thriving may look like surviving. And if so, that’s still absolutely worth celebrating!

Accepting where you are in this moment doesn’t mean you aren’t going to find an even better way tomorrow. I believe in you and am cheering you on!

Seek Help

If I have missed something, let me know. I will be adding to this over time during my publishing career. In case you are struggling with any suicidal ideation, please call 988 (in the US) or find another suicide helpline. As one who nearly lost her life to it, there is hope on the other side of getting help.

Other resources I’ve found amazing for me and my loved ones:

About the Quirky Author

A lover of faith and fantasy inspired fairy tale retellings and utterly obsessed with sweet romantic comedy books, JacQueline (aka Jackie Q.) enjoys telling stories, asking God hard questions, and laughing with her family and friends. She lives in North Alabama with her amazing karate husband and three book-crazy children. She takes every opportunity to drink coffee while wearing dangly earrings and the color purple.

*qualifying purchases will profit the author and her family with affiliate income to continue writing stories to delight more readers at no additional cost to you. 😉

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How to Choose the Right Book for Your Mood

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If you head over to Instagram, you’ll find all kinds of readers, self-professed book lovers, who are constantly sharing their favorite novels. They take beautiful pictures of book flatlays or do funny dances on their reels sharing what they loved and hated. But the question always comes down to what a book lover should reach for next. Just because you loved this particular author or series, are you really in the mood for more of that, or do you need something different? Are you a reader in search of the right formula to determine how to choose the right book for your mood?

What is a moody reader?

First, I need to state that not all of us bookworms are needing a formula. Many readers have a system that works for them. They have go-to authors or genres that they know will satisfy their book-cravings no matter what else is happening in their lives. What happened at work or in their personal lives does not change what they want to read. Horrible traffic or a screaming toddler who won’t go down for a nap? Doesn’t matter. They can just go on blissful autopilot when clicking for the next book.

But, if you are like me, you are HIGHLY impacted by your mood. In fact, your Goodreads might have several books “open” at a time on your “currently reading shelf”. Each day you might even be making progress in a different book. Go ahead, scroll through my Goodreads account. It will seem completely random, but I have discovered that it is anything BUT random.

How the pandemic changed my reading life

My mental health and current environment directly impact how I am feeling and what I’m reading. Right now my environment is still made up of a tightly knit family of Bible-believing bookworms who are still stuck at home due to the global pandemic. Struggling with chronic pain as well as depression and anxiety during the best of times, this past year has been . . . interesting.

Before the pandemic, I was reaching for lots of angsty young adult fantasy and Christian romantic suspense as my comfort reads. I loved the fast-pace and coming-of-age story arcs common in the former and the intrigue with the love story of the latter. But listening to fiction audiobooks? No, thank you. It literally put me to sleep. I preferred paperback to ebooks and hardbacks to paperback. Let me smell my fiction. Raise your hand if you’re a book-sniffer, too!

Now? I am still reading young adult fantasy books, but because of the angst level in many of those books, I have discovered that middle grade fantasy and clean romance/romantic comedies are more comforting right now. Fun action with magical worlds is still necessary, but I also need simple plot lines where two people have the promise of a happily-ever-after at the end of each book. Also, I’m taking greater care with my spiritual life, knowing it impacts my mental health directly. I used to sit and read my Bible almost every day (hey, I’m not perfect. I’d miss some days here and there.) But all of a sudden, I just couldn’t read it with my eyes anymore. I don’t know why, so I tried audio. Now, I’m listening to more of the Bible than I used to read daily and it is making a huge difference. As my speed in reading has increased, I also started gravitating towards ebooks. And once I started listening to the Bible, I tried ya fantasy and that was a win, too. Who knew?

How to judge the mood of a book

How did I know I needed to change my reading habits? I was no longer excited about reading. Simple as that. What had once been enjoyable suddenly felt like work. So I changed it up by noticing what was engaging and in what format I found it engaging. Mental health is a weird beast, but I’ve learned that if I remain flexible, my overall health benefits.

So, as you look to what you might need in your reading life right now, look closely at the covers. What colors and images are pulling you in? You’ll know it when you see it. Now, glance at the book description. What keywords are standing out? Are you finding that you like the sound of a straightforward, problem-solving, how-to book instead of a novel? Check out some self-help based on your interests in self-improvement. Do you desire to escape into a paranormal world where people are not what they seem and you can imagine you have secret gifts waiting to be discovered? Why not try paranormal fantasy? Or maybe, you feel drawn to something with comforting words, something that feels like a warm hug with a cookie (or biscuit for my UK friends) on the side. Cozy (or cosy) mysteries might be exactly what you need.

How to choose the right book for your mood

Do I think this will be forever? I doubt it. I’ve gone through many reading stages in my life and I always come back around to loving anything fantasy-related, so that’s a staple for me. Like I said, I’m still reading young adult fantasy, just enjoying it through my ears right now. I’ve also usually reached for something that had some sort of love-story, but because of my faith I choose to keep the steam-level to a minimum. That’s me, but what are you like?

At the time of writing this, vaccines are coming out and hope is on the horizon. Maybe there is peace ahead of us. But at the same time, racism is raging and the cancel-culture has people taking offense over so many details that many of us can’t keep up. If you’re a mood reader, you’ll be impacted by these things and need to choose your books wisely. Be open to new ways of thinking, but also be true to what you know is right. If you need escapism, choose something fun. If you’re ready for some deep thinking, go for it! Whatever you choose, enjoy your reading life and don’t let it become work.

Free Book(s) for you

If you are ready to try something new, why not sign up for my newsletter list and receive the prequel (free-quel) to Rapunzel’s journey, Before the Tower? You’ll get at least one email from me each month containing book recommendations and silly, bookish fun to engage your imagination and make you smile. Not ready for the commitment of a newsletter? You can wait on the prequel and start at book one for free. Click here to meet Rapunzel in Beyond the Tower as she stumbles through the fairy tale world after the witch casts her out. Book one is available in paperback and on all the online retailers where you can grab your copy now.

About JacQueline

As the author of  The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, JacQueline also wrote Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, to share hope in the battle against chronic pain and depression. Currently she lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All opinions expressed on this website come from her own experience. Do not substitute it for professional therapy or medical advice. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline’s family at no additional cost to you.

If you are a reader wanting to connect with JacQueline, you can get a free book here. Each month you will receive book recommendations and other booknerd fun.

Are you a writer or an author looking for help? JacQueline has been writing all her life and loves meeting others who think writing is living. As an author coach, helping other writers on their journey gives her joy. Schedule your free coaching call to learn what steps you should take next now.

Photo Credit: Sincerely Media, Sincerely Media, Natasha Tirtabrata, Silviarita, and Tesjavi Ganjoo.

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Gratitude and Gardening During Lockdown

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Do you believe that gratitude and gardening during lockdown might lead us to enjoy life? Perhaps not a few months ago. But things have changed drastically since COVID 19 took over our lives. There are two ways to approach things, and I think gratitude, with a bit of gardening, can open our eyes.

Gratitude and Gardening

The irises and honey suckle are blooming behind my house, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. Wind rustles through the leaves, sounding like the waves coming up to shore. Everyday I see people enjoying the changing of the season–taking walks, smiling, and waving. Gardens are planted and weeded. DIY projects are at an all-time high with triple the normal sales at hardware and home improvement stores.

But I know that people are panicking, I’ve struggled with it despite the beauty of the season. There are many people out of work due to COVID 19, small business owners everywhere struggling to pivot in order to make sales online instead of in-person. Exhausted family members continue the tasks of being the only one out of the house. High-risk individuals self-quarantining feel cut-off.

It’s hard to see beauty and recognize what we have to be grateful for when we focus on what’s going wrong.

Gratitude During Hardships

If we don’t count our blessings–the flowers blooming, families walking outside together, etc.–our vision will narrow to the hardships. We foresee a dark world getting darker still. Instead of accessing the thankful heart we could grow and develop in our homes, we become the worst version of ouselves. I personally struggle with this. My tone becomes defensive, bitter, and I bite off the heads of people I profess to love. Family members have jerked away from me recently and I finally realized: I’ve allowed my fears to emerge, to take over.

It’s time for many of us to make space so we can take a step back. Refocus our eyes and ears, listen to God stir the wind through the trees. Breathe in deeply the fragrance of the flowers He’s awoken.

Mommie’s Legacy: My Upbringing to the Rescue

My mommie taught me this. When I first became ill with chronic migraines in high school, my vision narrowed then as well. My pain became everything to me. It determined when and what I ate. It determined where I went and what I wore. It even determined who I saw and what I was able to accomplish. Sound familiar? I had been a gregarious and silly teenager who loved to think deep thoughts and laugh loudly with friends. But I quickly morphed into a moody, light-sensitive, sound-sensitive agoraphobic, who clung to my home as though its dark rooms could shelter me from the pain.

My mommie handed me a book that helped me begin listing everything I was grateful for, everything that lifted my eyes beyond my pain to what was good, and right, and true. (see Philippians 4:8) My fingers stumbled at first, scratching out words slowly. Then, the words came in a rush, flowing through me. I covered at least three pages and could have kept going. The girl that loved the life she’d been given was still alive inside me. Just because I was in pain didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy my life.

Gratitude and Gardening During Lockdown

This pandemic lockdown has shut so many of us in, and I’ve found myself panicking as the feeling is all too familiar. But after talking to my counselor, I’m back to counting my blessings, focusing my mind on what is right and true. I have a home, a family, even flowers. My body can take walks. Last spring, I couldn’t do that. Pain and grief had overwhelmed me. I’m going to celebrate what I can do, not be upset that I can’t go to my favorite coffee shop. Maybe you and I can both choose joy and gratitude together despite the pain and fear.

Gratitude and gardening during lockdown may sound too simplistic, I know. There is real pain, real fear. I also know the key isn’t actually working in the dirt. You may hate gardening, and that’s fine. The key here is where is your focus? Have you concentrated on what you are blessed with? Or are you stressing about what you don’t have and all the horrible things that may happen?

Yes, little is certain, but we have been given this moment. We each have something, and it can be something small, to be grateful for. And with whatever is beautiful, we can share with others. Don’t make it complicated. It can be through a phone call, a gift placed on a doorstep, a six-foot-distanced visit outdoors. Our lives are a precious gift and even in the midst of hardship, we need to refocus, give thanks. I know this is changing me. What can you be grateful for?

During a crisis, our vision can narrow to what is wrong. But through practicing gratitude and gardening during lockdown, my new focus has helped me fight depression and chronic illness. Whether you are deciding if you should check out gardening for beginners or looking for self-discovery journal prompts, practicing gratitude in your daily life will change you. #gratitude #chronicillness #gardening #mentalhealth

About JacQueline

JacQueline Vaughn Roe

Author of  The Journey series, a young adult fantasy retelling Rapunzel’s misadventures, and  Memoirs of a Headcase: Held by the God of Hope, which chronicles her battle with chronic pain and depression, JacQueline uses her writing to share stories of hope and joy. Any affiliate links used on this website will provide additional income to JacQueline to keep her writing healthy at no additional cost to you. 

JacQueline currently lives in North Alabama with her karate husband and three book-crazy kids. All of her writing is from her own experience and based on her opinion. Please don’t substitute it for a professional therapist.

photography: Alex Basov, Annie Spratt, Meg Landrito, and Jessica “Kess” Vaughn.

Graphic Design for Social Media: JacQueline Vaughn Roe. Contact her for help with graphic design or other author services.

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